what's wrong with you? You're thinkin' too hard! XD Everything you've been through, all that you have done has led you to where you are. We can reminisce about what may have been, but in the end it is futile. Look to the future, keep the big picture in mind, and you will do just fine!
Some people are born ambitious, but carnal ambition avails us not. True zeal comes from God and His Spirit in you. We can't 'work it up'...it's a gift. You can certainly ask God for more of it, but you can't create it on your own. It's good that you realize you need it, I'll give ya that, but don't feel too hard on yourself. No human effort can earn salvation, but once we enter into a covenant with God, we have to do our part to let God work in us. I love ya, Dom, and I pray things will work out for you. Hang in there, hopefully I'll get a chance to come visit sometime soon!

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[Psalm 91]
"I didn't 'like you' like you like I like you now!"
"Delectable tea....or deadly poison?" -Iroh
Nidoran FTW!

when we put our hands on the plow we don't look back right? i find it hard for me lots of times. especially when i live in a cave and i'm cut off from the outside world. I live alone and have no friends to visit with. All i do is go to, and from work. No where else. I have no TV, so no news. My internet has been cutting in and out lots so that's not fun, and i don't understand end time prophecy. I know that in the end Jesus Christ will rein, that before that will be the four horsemen, and there's a great tribulation in there somewhere along with the beast and the great harlot. but i don't understand the blood of the saints. If God's elect are to be in the place of safety, and the blood of the saints are of those killed for God's sake, then that doesn't make any sense. It's like looking through a foggy glass for me. I can't make clear images. I'm struggling each day, every second of every day at work just trying to keep working. I'm slow and can never get those dishes done. I know it sounds really silly and that it's not a job to be proud of, and i know i've shamed my parents with what i've done with myself. I just wish i did more with my life. I have no courage and can't get myself to cry out to God. It's starting to eat me up inside. I know He's really here right now watching me, but yet i'm writing to you! Not that i don't love you, i really do. I just wish i knew what i could do, because all that i am doing i feel like i'm messing it up, big time, again!

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I belive eny can work out a shield or what ever it is to get there own confedence to do things in life - I dont think your thougts can eat you up - I think its fase to something new happening in your life - and that could be to practice to remember to get things done - and understand that you can take a chance on what you wanna do right when you want to, I think its imporatant that you choose when and not what youl maybe think others would have done in your possition. No human is "better" than the other - everyone is equal. Good to be fan of a person - but if you can do it in your own way - I think your on the right track. And sometimes other people seems so casual, and noncelant doing things - and it seems so easy to em - thats just the outside - they have there problems too. Im in fase too, and I have to get some things right soon - and sometimes it can feel like times go by. I read in a magazine that the brain is made to think forward to the future - and Im trying to do that - hope it works - I have a feeling it does besides Im a relly nostalgic person sometimes

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:.:.:`L O u i s O N´:.:.:

- oh forgot to mention - I have a good saying from somewhere I cant remember - I try to translate to english: "I can, I will, I must, I may"
- I think its a good reminder for everyone - cheasy but true ...now repeat 100 times before you sleep ... na thats brainwash hehe, just joking

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:.:.:`L O u i s O N´:.:.:

there will be a short period where we will have to endure the tribulation before we are taken to the place of safety. It's all a part of God's plan, and I'm sure He wouldn't let us endure the pain and suffering if it wasn't neccessary. However, if we overcome that we will make it to the place of safety and stay there until Christ returns. Don't worry...the church talks a LOT about end time prophecy. It took me a while to understand it too, but I have now. Hang in there girl. Love ya.

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[Psalm 91]
"I didn't 'like you' like you like I like you now!"
"Delectable tea....or deadly poison?" -Iroh
Nidoran FTW!

SWEETY!! you're too hard on yourself.
Just remember:
WE love you, for you.. no different.
I still love cartoon and disney movies.. AND IM ALMOST 30!!!
there will be other opportunities to be great.. you've made many accomplishments,
1.you got outta your little town you grew up in.
2. you went to school for something you love. (who cares if you in debt.... who isnt)
3. and.............your AWESOME!!

dont worry about it.. great opportunities will come to when you least expect it.. (that sounded to fortune cookie-ish, didn't it)..

i don't want to do things "my way", i want to do things God's way. I guess you could say i'm those "religious" types. I hate being labeled as one of those, because every time i hear that word and get cast into that group, i think of the bible thumpers who are so judgemental of others and snub their noises in others faces, that "they're more righteous than everyone", when in fact that makes them quite the opposite. The humble are righteous, while the proud will be humbled. Either way i know my ways, are not God's ways, His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, like how the heavens (meaning sky and outer space) are above the earth, so are His ways are higher than my ways, and the bible is the mind of God. His inspired word. So if i want to understand His ways, that's all i have to do is study and read His book. It's like reading a biography. But that's easier said than done. XP

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much like how ancient Israel had to endure the first 4 plagues of Egypt right?

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lol, yeah that would be brainwashing. that's never a good thing. it's like self hypnosis or self deceiving. I'd be in real trouble if i were to do that.

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